Ladies, Gentlemen, and alien guests.
I am here this morning to celebrate the Krispy Kreme Academy of ChristSF-Writers Awards. The nominees for this challenge's ChiEssEffies are:
- Hildy, for "Krispy Kremed"
- Bob Blackman, "Sophia's Wonderous Scheme"
- Bill Bader, for his untitled haiku
- Triche Osborne, for "Irish Kreme"
As a reminder, there will be no speeches during the awards ceremony. Winners may e-mail acceptance speeches, limited to 20 words per award, after all the ChiEssEffies have been presented.
But first, a word from our sponsor:
Buy Krispy Kremes. They're the most awesome, most wonderful donuts around.
[Subliminal: You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.]
Eat Krispy Kremes.
"Image is nothing, obey your thirst" -- except for awards shows. The ChiEssEffy for Set Design goes to Triche's "Irish Kreme"!
The ChiEssEffy for Benevolent Graven Image goes to "Princess Sophia, the goddess Tyre", from the Padre's "Sophia's Wonderous Scheme"
We will be right back, after this brief message.
Donuts are nummy. Eat us up.
[A Public Service Announcement brought to you by Krispy Kreme]
We all know, in creativity, timing is everything. [For example, those of you who didn't submit anything in time will not win.]
The ChiEssEffy for Fastest Publishing goes to "Krispy Kremed", by Hildy.
The Just Under the Wire ChiEssEffy goes to Triche, for "Irish Kreme"
And, in the new category for Don't Waste My Time With Extraneous Words, the ChiEssEffy goes to Bill Bader's untitled haiku.
This November, please remember: Dunkin' requires you to douse your pastry to be edible. Krispy respects your freedom of choice: drench it, dip it, eat it dry. For choice, for freedom, for America: Krispy Kreme for Donut Association President.
[Payed for by holes-are-an-unnecessary-evil.dnt]
Here at the Academy for ChristSF Writers, we pride ourselves on genre.
One of the fun parts of genre writing is being able to reference other, often more-famous writings or works. This morning, it is my pleasure to honor, with the ChiEssEffy for Intra-Genre Allusion, Triche Osborne for the homage to The Princess Bride's Miracle Max in "Irish Kreme".
The participants who showed outstanding achievement in their genre are:
The ChiEssEffy for Tales of the Macabre, Horrific, or Suspenseful goes to "Krispy Kremed", by Hildy.
For achievment in the Mystical or Mythical, the ChiEssEffy goes to Bob Blackman and "Sophia's Wonderous Scheme".
The best foreign-style writing ChiEssEffy goes to the eastern-influenced untitled haiku. Congratulations, Bob Bader.
Fairy/Faerie Tales have been an important part of ChristSF's history. The Faer Traditions ChiEssEffy goes to Triche's "Irish Kreme".
Don't worry, viewers, we're almost done, and the big award is coming up.
Princess Buttercup: "Eat Krispy Kremes!"
Wesley: "As... You.... Wiiiiiiiiiiish."
Poetry is an oft-forgotten style of Speculative Fiction, and in this challenge, we had not one but two poetical entries. The Poets Laureate of the Krispy Kreme Academy of ChristSF-Writers for this challenge are Bob and Bill.
And, finally, with only this last ado, with the St. Patrick's Spirit Bonus ChiEssEffy, we honor Triche Osborne, for "Irish Kreme".
Congratulations to one and all for a wonderful collection of submissions.
Until next time... Eat Krispy Kremes!